Am I crazy to crave a week alone with just the ocean?
From
Beverly Mills
| August 28, 2010
In Coffee and Convo
I love my family and I love my life, but suddenly I have the urge for a sabbatical: One week at my parent’s beach house in North Carolina, no hubby, no kids, no dog, no relatives. Is this too much to ask?
For starters, I wouldn’t “cook” anything. Eastern peaches sliced for breakfast; PBJ’s on the beach for lunch; dinner could be steamed shrimp or crabs right out of the bay. Nobody needs anything. No sink full of dishes.
By day, I‘d walk. There’s a mile-long stretch of beach here that’s practically deserted, and ever since I was a teenager, this is where I've done my best thinking. And my best NOT thinking. Topsail Island is technically part of the Outer Banks, and although it’s too far south to be part of the National Seashore, the air smells like salt, the waves crash on cue and it completely clears your head. Like you get a fresh start. Clean slate. Clean heart.
All of that.
By night I’d read. Fiction; probably till two. Three if my eyes still focus. Write letters, real ones, to people I want to thank for things they don’t even know they contributed to my life journey. Do you ever do that, write letters -- or even just think about what you’d say to the people who’ve mentored you? All of mine are dying now, most without ever knowing that I’m still indebted; that it mattered.
One week of this solitary bliss every so many years would be enough. But I feel guilty for wanting it. For even imagining it in such detail. And I know the irony of this -- I am lucky to have a life so full of people that I end up craving solitude. Many of my closest friends recently have found themselves more or less alone, by circumstances completely beyond their control -- divorce, death, kids growing up and moving on. Solitude as a luxury vs. isolation as a curse -- they’re complete opposites.
So, I’m looking for advice. Should I act on my beach-week fantasy? Or just suck it up and find a way to tend my longings for space in my normal life and realize just how lucky I am? Are the two mutually exclusive?
Comments
From Alicia Ross - August 28, 2010
We are so good at being mindful of others as mom, wife, daughter, sister, we have to be more intentional about mindful of ourselves. A week away to be kind to yourself is not something you have a choice not to do. I sooo agree with Martha, you have more to give if you are filled up.
From Beverly Mills - August 28, 2010
From Della, via Facebook:
What a wonderful gift to your soul, after all that place is “heaven on earth”. Renew, refresh and return home with added zeal!
From Lauren Pacelli - August 28, 2010
A week alone in such a beautiful venue sounds blissful!
The real question is: with or without Internet?
Lauren
From Flo Strickland - August 28, 2010
GO FOR IT!!!! Run your Mom and Dad back to home base and ENJOY!! The Dit-Dots (as Louanne used to call the tourist) are about gone, leaving the roadways and grocery stores with plenty of space. If you should get lonely, you can always smell the salt air at Sunset Beach with us.
From Dawn Rundman - August 29, 2010
Please, please, PLEASE do this.
Because you can.
Because the working moms who can’t do this yet (or at least this working mom) love seeing that SOMEone is.
Because it sets a great example for your kids that you are also You, not just Mom and Wife.
Because you’ll remember it the rest of your life.
Because restorative time is not selfish.
Because the reunion when you’re home will be sweet.
Because God rested.
Because those people need to get those letters.
From Beverly Mills - August 29, 2010
Thanks everybody….
From Beverly Mills - August 29, 2010
From Eileen, via Facebook:
If there were a way to tend your longings in your normal life, you would have done it, don’t you think? You owe it to yourself and to your family to take care of yourself!
From Sue - August 29, 2010
Oh what I wouldn’t give for this kind of opportunity, be grateful such a respite is there for you and take advantage of it, for all of those of us who can’t do it.
From AnnM - August 30, 2010
I join the chorus that says, “Go!” See Anne Morrow Lindberg’s Gift from the Sea. I think you’ll get re-charged, renewed, refreshed!
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From Beverly Mills - August 28, 2010
From Martha, via Facebook:
It’s a soul thing Bev. Sometimes the soul needs a chance to recharge just like the body. It craves the basics, not the excesses. The recharge is not indulgent, it is necessary for survival and even flourishing. You’ll come back to “reality” with more to contribute to your family, friends and readers. Go for it!