Have you noticed that Martha Stewart is spreading out? On the treadmill at the gym the other morning, I’m watching The TODAY Show while trying to walk off last night’s Fettuccine with Clam Sauce. About halfway through my workout, on comes Martha, talking with Matt about a setting up a "first-aid drawer" -- (use little ramekins to hold each item and group according to type of medical affliction).

If you go to Martha's website, you'll mostly see photos of her still-gorgeous face, and you won't see ANY photos of her from the chest down unless her midriff is obscured. But on this clip from TODAY, such editing is not in place. Watch the NBC clip and see for yourself!

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The camera catches her from the side at about the point where the drawer hits her, which is of course waist level. And OMG, Martha is fat. There’s practically an inner tube attached to her waist.

I’m not sure why I am so surprised that Martha is a bit chubby, given the fact that she is constantly cooking. Also she just turned 69 years old on August 3. But here’s what is so depressing to me about this early-morning revelation:

If Martha is fat, there’s simply no hope for me. I, too, constantly cook. My birthdays, too, have started to stack up. (Martha does have a couple of decades on me, but still…) You would certainly think this Gene Queen could butt up against 70 with her butt still in shape. If Martha could survive prison, surely she can prevail against her spare tire.

It occurs to me that instead of being horrified, perhaps I should be thrilled that Martha has packed on the pounds. After all, if America’s domestic dominatrix is going soft, within weeks, this will no doubt be considered stylish. The rest of us might as well join the party.

Finally Martha’s all done with her segment and TODAY has cut to commercials. I glance down at my treadmill. Twenty minutes of sweating completed and only 100 calories burned. Move over Martha. Here comes my midriff!